Archive for the NoyPi Category

Gising, frend.

Tumatanda ka na, frend.

Nasa Friday Magic Madness na yung mga paborito mong kanta.
Nakaka-relate ka na sa Classic MTV. Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong
child star dati. Nanay na lagi ang role ng crush na crush mong matinee
idol noon.

Parang botika na ang cabinet mo. May multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly,
tsaka ginko biloba.

Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta, inihaw
na liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa. Ngayon, nagkukumpulan na lang kayo

ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at oorder ng tea.

Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon.

Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen, napalitan na ng
walang katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kumpanya ninyo. Wala na ang
best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may problema ka. Ang lagi
mo na lang kausap ngayon e ang kaopisina mong hindi ka sigurado kung

binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka. Ang hirap nang magtiwala.

Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan. Hindi mo kayang
pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina. Kung sabagay,
nagkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng pera at umakyat sa
tinatawag nilang “corporate ladder”. Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong

galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi talaga totoong pagkakaibigan.

Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa.

Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo.

Alipin ka na ng Meralco, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun. Alipin ka
ng Midnight Madness. Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway. Alipin ka ng

credit card mo. Alipin ka ng ATM. Alipin ka ng BIR.

Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton. Ngayon,
dapat may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucini alfredo mo. Masaya ka

na noon pag nakakapag-ober-da-bakod kayo para makapagswimming. Ngayon,

ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang lugar.

Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin pomelo. Ngayon, pagkatapos ng

ilang bote ng red wine, maghahanap ka ng San Mig Light o Vodka Cruiser.

Wala ka nang magawa. Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo.
Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas ang

sweldo mo. Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong

hindi mo kailangan, abot-kamay mo na. Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga

gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin makuntento.

Saan ka ba papunta?

frend, gumising ka. Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang
sa mga baterya ng mga machines sa Matrix. Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung

bakit nilagay ka rito. Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang

hanggang maging singkwenta anyos ka na, magsisisi ka.

Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga bagay na

nagpasaya sa yo. Balikan mo sila.

Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

… an episode on
Desperate housewives last sept 30, 2007, made a racially-
discriminatory comment against filipinos (specifically in the medical
field). In a scene in which Susan was told by her gynecologist that
she might be hitting menopause, she replied, “Can I just check those
diplomas because I just want to make sure that they are not from some
med school in the Philippines. ”

you can check the petition made online at
http://www.petition online.com/ FilABC/petition. html

searching around youtube i found a short clip pertaining to this:
http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=sWqvI2nMUFI

Aru dyos ko!!

“I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from.”

-          Inday. hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick

“I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should’ve made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn’t platonic. It’s real, true romance.”

-          Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang
boyfriend niya

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”

-          ganito nakipagbreak si Inday kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)

- - - -

Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka. would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish.
The term “fishes”, although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? (Pauses) Aaah. by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this houshold’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple “galewng-gowng”.
Am I correct?

Amo: Leche!

Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the “ba-ngooz” is it!
- - - -

“La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?

-          si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España

*Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red avriety) and apricot sauce *Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive olive *Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests

-          baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday

“Bloody hell!!! What the f*ck did just landed on my cutie top? I mean I’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!”

-          reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang
nagluluto ng tilapia

“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market.”

-          banat ni Inday kung bakit walang “kangkong” sa nilutong sinigang

“Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the “oriza sativa” which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste.”

-          sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang
sinaing

“Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!”

-          si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate. (Taray
talaga ni Inday!)

“Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness.”

-          sagot ni inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si
Junior

- - - -

Amo: Day! Bakit may bukol si Junior?!

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: (Di nakareact)

- - - -

“Dear Mom,

Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago.
Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.

Your daughter,
Inday”

“Dear Inday,

Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!

Tatay”

- - - -

Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!

Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!

- - - -

Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bkit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?

Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they’ll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so.

- - - -

“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had.”

-          sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng dayoff
- - - -

Misis: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?

Inday: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate.
Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair.
This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on Property, Plant, and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets!

Misis: ADIK ka talaga Inday!


“don’t limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode.
expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences.”

– Inday nagrereklamo kasi ayaw siya isama sa enchanted kingdom.

Heto spin-off:

“todilip todilip. todilip todilip…”

- Susan, katulong sa kapitbahay nina Inday, kumakanta ng Irreplaceable. :D