The Adventure Of Super Kamote

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Airline Cabin Announcements: All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in
flight  ”safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

CONTINENTAL AIRLINES

On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the  pilot said, “Ladies and
gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”


JAPAN AIR LINES

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before  assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”


BRITISH AIRWAYS

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.  Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”  


AMERICAN AIRLINES

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas , on a  particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight  Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the
Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

QANTAS AIRWAYS

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please   remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

NORTHWEST AIRLINES

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a
Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

PHILIPPINE AIR LINES

We’re now preparing to land at San Francisco International Airport. Kindly straighten up your seats, turn off all electronic gadgets, pull up your window shades and buckle up for safety. We hope you enjoyed flying with us as much as we did. Sa wikang atin po, tayo po ay papalapag na sa paliparang pangkalawakang internasyonal ng San Francisco. Paalala po lamang sa ating mga kababayan — ang mga unan, kumot, headset at iba pang kagamitan sa eroplano ay di po kasama sa pasalubong.  Huwag po lamang baklasin ang LCD-TV na nakadikit sa silya.

Jesus’ Dad’s Name

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What was Jesus’ mother’s name?”
One child answered, “Mary.”
The teacher then asked, “Who knows what Jesus’ father’s name was?”
A little kid said, “Verge.”
Confused, the teacher asked, “Where did you get that?”
The kid said, “Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n’ Mary.”
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KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old, Reese:
“Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen.”

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A little boy was overheard praying:
“Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.
I’m having a real good time like I am.”

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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
“That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.

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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord’s Prayer
for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer:
“Lead us not into temptation,” she prayed, “but deliver us some E-mail.

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One particular four-year-old prayed,
“And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in! our baskets.”

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A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service,
“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

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Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
“You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”
“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
“See those two men standing by the door?
They’re hushers.”

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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’”
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!”

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A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.
“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
“Did God throw him back down?”

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A wife invited some people to dinner. At the

table, she turned to their six-year

old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.
“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”