The Adventure Of Super Kamote

Best quotation
By Chris Rock, comedian
2-28-07

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war,
and the three most powerful men in America are named
Bush, Dick, and Colon

Street Vendor : “bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!”

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gf : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!Couple talking:

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wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa
bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay.

so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?

wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

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ANG MARRIED LIFE….
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay
inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
“HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!”

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Sa harap ng nursery window;
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!

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Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

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Friend: “Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!”
Husband: “Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!”
Friend: “Surprise? Ano occassion?”
Husband: “Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!”

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Health Advisory: “Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men into women.
After 5 pints….

men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!”

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WIFE: I’m warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MONA!!!

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WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya “GO TO HELL”, kaya ito uwi agad ako..

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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let’s make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.HEHEHHE!

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Population policies of countries:
China: Stop at 1 child.
Singapore: Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

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Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!

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“SUMPA”
Hindi na makakatikim ng napakasarap na ‘Sex’ ang huling
bumasa nito! Ayos safe na ako…papayag ka bang IKAW ang huling
babasa nito?hehehe!!!

· i was recently hurt by sum1 i rily LOve, i dont want 2 give up even f it hurts but 1 day did, asking y?? its hard 2 love a person hu dsnt know wat love is…

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· hirap buhay babae!

umaga:laba damit tanghali: sampay damit hapon: tiklop damit gabi: plantsa damit..

hating gabi: hubad damit.. madaling araw: hanap damit..

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· Pautang nman, o wag kang tatanggi,, pLEASE… 1 box Kiss.. 12 kilos hug.. 1 dozen care..& a million bottles of Love.. babyaran ko promise… TC..

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· its easy to fal complitly w/sum1..its eC 2 beliv in ol those lies.. its Ec2 lose urself 2 sum1 u hardly know..bt y isnt it eC 2 4get sum1 u love,hu found it EC 2 let u go

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· So sad but tru:”lovin sum1 means u only want the best for him,even if it means sawallowing the sad reality dat d best just isnt u… and wil nvr be u…

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· Man Askd God y he makes women so beautiful, & GOd sed “so u wil love dem.” DEn man askd,” but y do u hav 2 make dem stupid at times?” & God sed,” so dey can love u.”.

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· Lam ko mramingnagmmhal s u mwala man akod hi2nto mundo mo…pero,..lam mo… n kpag nawala k s mundo ko.. di ko n lam kung pano ulit ppaikutin ito…

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· bkit pag ngmahal k ng todo,wla p rin,khit n gngwa mu lahat,wla p rin,e panu kung mwla ka,at biglang magsawa,wla p rin,kaw p din mali,kaw p din talo at nsssktan,db unfair magmahal?

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· btwn a thousnd ystrdys, & a milion tom, ders only 1 2day, & i wuldnt let dis day pas w/o saying dis 2 u.. i wuldnt b hapi as i am now f i ddnt know u

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· lyf wont always sail smutly,der cum a tym dt we ol hav 2 say’ d ko n yata kya” bt f ever u rch dat point always ber N mind dat U hav “ME” on ursyd 2 bak u uP

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· News!………. a 90 yr old mas starts makin luv 2 his 85yr old wife. he started sucking the breast,after 10 secs. he died. autopsy report: cause of death, expired milk!

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· u light find it Ec to fall inlov w/ sum 1or to b luvd by sum1.. D hard thing is hw 2 kip dat sum1 4ever, dats d chllenge of lov ..figthin w/o knowin hw to win….

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· pANo kung 1 day magka amnesia k? as in wlang malala? maiicip mo p ba ako?kng ako tatanungin..” abe syempre!”.. isip lang ang nakaklimot… hindi ang puso…

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· dad: mabait b boyfrend mo?

anak yes dad

dad:maka dios ba?

anak: sobra da

dad: nsan sya nayun?

anak: nandun sa simbahan nagmimisa..

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· i appriciate every little & BIG things you do for me or simple way of showin care makes me smyl & say “wow, love nya ko” dats y im proud to say,” uy.. mas love kita!…

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· friensdhip is impossible to keep w/n ourself…it wil always xtend as far it can reach to touch hearts..exactly lyk the way u touch mine.. thank you so much…

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