Can ex-lovers be just friends?
Posted by: Dakilang Pasaway in Advice, Inspirations, Love & Relationship, Bloggie-TopiaLove is like a whirlpool that charms us to its depth. That is why we call it
falling in love, since we don’t force ourselves to fall in love. We all have
wonderful memories of love that may have survived the test of time or
stumbled leaving behind painful trails.
You may have considered your love a failure and almost hated your ex-lover
for it. The compassion and affection you felt for your ex-lover will lay
dormant in your heart for sometime, ready to rekindle at any moment. When
the pain of a love failure is healed in time, you may want to get back as
friends and might be surprised to find that he/she also feels alike.
There is cooling period before the restitution of the friendship between
ex-lovers. The beginning of friendship between ex-lovers depends on the level
of friendship that was established in the relationship. For ex-lovers to
engage in a platonic relationship, their initial interaction and maturity
levels need to be taken into consideration.
If the ex-lovers can stablish good and open communication
among themselves, the resentment and motional pain in the love failure can
be replaced by a good platonic union. it can be extremely helpful for the two
of you to clearly define together your relationship and what you want and
expect from the other. The ex-lovers’ friendship must be based on emotional
aspects rather than on romantic and sexual interests.
Once the friendship between the ex-lovers has been restored, replace the
earlier used ‘we’ and ‘us’ to ‘me’ and I. Learn to respect each other’s
privacy and do not pry into the other’s personal life. Refrain from gossip or
blame over the failed relationship. Don’t question your ex-lover about
gossips you have heard. Your unnecessary remarks may indicate your
eagerness to blame your ex-lover and might end your rekindled friendship soon.
Accept the truth that your revived friendship will always remain as
friendship only. You must be honest in your friendship and encourage your ex-
lover to be honest with you. Be ready to accept your ex-lover’s new love
relationship with another person. This will help you grow. Do not hide your
revived friendship when you enter a new relationship. Do not hide any fact of
your past, for its better your sweetheart learns it from than from a
stranger. Love is all about accepting you as you are. If your sweetheart
cannot accept your past, he/she can never accept you whole heartedly and we
all know what happens to such relationships.
Since you have called it quits, let it go. Both of you understand why it had
to end. Sometimes it is hard for one person to stay in the relation and it
is hard for the other to let go. But you have to understand that when one is
not happy in the relationship, the whole purpose of that relation is lost.
One wants out, not because you are bad, but only because both of you are a mix-
match. Let go and wish good for the other, this will save you of a lot of pain in future.
Both of you have a wonderful life ahead.
There are many more fish in the pond, ain’t there?

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